So, you’ve decided that a big traditional wedding is not the vibe. Proceeding with a classic ceremony is giving nightmares of high school play opening night. There’s nothing about your love that feels conventional and you want something more. Maybe you’re dreaming of kissing your lover on a mountaintop or vows so private it’s just you two and the trees.

You’re going to elope. It feels sexy and badass to say. You’re brimming with excitement. You’re empowered. You’re free!

And then the questions start rolling in. How do we make it legal? Do we still need an officiant? What do we do with the rest of the day? Where do we start?

Don’t worry, friend! I’ve got you covered. Let’s break it down step by step.

Step 1: Dream It Up

I refer to this as the “blue sky” phase because it’s about creating a joy-forward vision. Before we even think about logistics, it’s crucial to take a beat with your partner and ask: 

“What would our perfect day look like?”

Are you hiking up a gorgeous woodland lookout? Taking a road trip through the redwoods and stopping at every coffee-stand along the way? Slow dancing by a lake beneath the stars before a midnight swim?

Do you picture it as a private, intimate affair with just the two of you? Or do you bring a few of your closest people to share in the adventure?

Is it something lowkey and cozy, like coffee on a rainy morning? Full of excitement, like white-water rafting down the river? 

You’re probably catching on—there’s no right way to elope. And that’s the best part!

Step 2: Choose Your Location

You’ve narrowed in on a vibe for your special day and now you just need to determine a real life location to do it. Finding a just-right spot to tie the knot takes careful thought.

Some things to consider:
• Accessibility (drive-up, hike-in, both?)
• Scenery (desert, coastline, forest, mountain, all of the above? 👀)
• Time of year and the weather (if it’s Oregon, plan for rain no matter what)
• Singular location or multiple stops (first looks at the beach, vows in the forest)

Need help finding the perfect spot? That happens to be my favorite thing to do!

Step 3: Pick a Date (or a Date Range)

With your partner, decide on the day you’ll forever call your anniversary! There are lots of different factors that could influence the date you choose. Some couples select a specific date that holds meaning to their love story, others may stay flexible based on weather, crowds, or travel costs and seize the opportunity to create new meaning for a date.

Folksy Protip: Weekdays are usually way quieter, especially at popular spots.

Step 4: Handle the Legal Stuff

Woohoo, let’s make it official! It may seem overwhelming and paperwork-y but it’s not as scary as it sounds. Here’s all the things you’ll need to have a valid, lawful marriage no matter where you elope:

• Marriage license — This varies by state! For example, in Oregon, you need to apply for your marriage license at least three days before the ceremony.
• Officiant — Some states (like Colorado) allow you to self-solemnize but in most, you’ll need some form of officiant. I can help you find one, or encourage one of your close friends to get ordained. Or, if you’d like to keep things super streamlined, I’m also ordained so I can legally marry you during your elopement as well as providing photography.
• Witnesses — Some states require one or two, but it varies. If it’s just the three of us? I can sign as your witness too.

It’s also entirely possible that you’d prefer to keep the legal stuff separate. That works too! Lots of couples choose to get legally married beforehand and use their elopement for the emotional, cathartic, just-for-them vows.

Step 5: Build the experience (not just the ceremony)

You’re choosing to elope because, presumably, the cookie-cutter wedding ceremony just doesn’t do it for you. And you’re not just looking for a change of scenery to walk down the aisle, you want a full-blown experience.

Some ideas to get you inspired:
• Wonderfully tacky roadtrip stops and photo ops
• A private vow exchange in a temperate rain forest (like Olympic National Park!)
• Painting and picnicking with lots of laughs
• S’mores over a campfire before champagne under the stars

Maybe you want to share the experience with a few friends without giving up your privacy? Couples can invite loved ones to caravan along for a few select stops throughout the day, or meet back up at their campsite that evening for a fireside celebration. There’s so many options and so much room to make your elopement feel communal as much as it is deeply personal.

Folksy Protip: Record an audio love letter on the “Vow Phone”—a vintage-style phone I provide so you can leave a message for your future selves. Then I turn that recording into a short video with a montage of your photos. It’s honestly magic.

Step 6: Pack Smart

Another thing I’m more than happy to help with. Layers, snacks, comfort-enhancers—depending on the plan, I’ll assist in prepping a packing list that includes everything we might need for the adventure.

Examples:
• Clothes, layers, shoes (comfy > fancy—bring the fancy shoes separately and change once we reach the location)
• Vow books, rings, marriage license, personal touches
• Tasty, energizing snacks and soooo much water
• Any specialized gear you may need for the kick-ass activities you planned

Step 7: Elopement Day (!!!!!!!!!!!!)

You did it. Soak it all in. You made the plans, you found the spot, you even bravely navigated a government website to secure your marriage license. The work is done. Now it’s time to live it!

You may still feel compelled to fly into a whirlwind. It’s exciting! But don’t rush yourself. Take it slow, slow, slow. Laugh a lot—the most ever, maybe. Cry if you want to. Take breaks. Smile at each other. Love each other. Soak. It. In.

I’ll be there too, but you’ll hardly notice. I’ll document everything from the big vows to the little jokes in between. Today is your day. You get to be fully in love, fully yourselves, and fully present. The photos are just to help you remember that perfect day actually happened.

Bonus: What If You Want to Include Family in your elopement?

Of course you can bring your family! Eloping doesn’t always mean going totally solo. Some couples bring a few loved ones along for the adventure or even invite them to be part of the whole day.

Here’s some sweet ways to involve all your people on your special day:

• Bring your family to the ceremony, then the two of you depart on a romantic road trip afterward
• Host an intimate dinner celebration after you return from eloping
• Share videos or audio messages on the day
• Create a post-elopement slideshow or keepsake box for your loved ones

There are so many ways to include your people without giving up any freedom that comes from eloping..

What Makes a folksy Elopement Different?

A Folksy elopement is designed for couples who want to fully embrace themselves. Chasing untethered joy and affirmation of love, a Folksy elopement reflects your story and the incredible life you’re building together. 

If this has your heart screaming HELL YES then it’s time to reach out. I’d love to hear your love story and help you plan something fantastically folksy for just the two of you.

Got the wanderlust bug? Here’s more inspiration to fuel your journey!